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by Toby Maguire
A Taoist Master
Although there can be many different reasons for low self-esteem, it is important to realise that what has happened to us in the past should not be a hindrance to how we perceive ourselves in the present or in the future. Although people may think that their circumstances have caused them to think the way they do and they are helpless to change it, with just a little bit of effort and mindfulness, this can change.
Internal chit chatter is again at the root of low self-esteem. Observing your thoughts and whatever messages you are constantly repeating to yourself over and over again causes you to think the way you do and will therefore affect what happens in the "world outside" of you.
Almost everyone to some extent has negative internal chit chatter in their minds, so in order to feel more confident, it is important to recognise when it happens, and consciously make an effort to change it.
There are many different ways to do this. One of them is to see the glass as being half full rather than half empty. If we spend our lives focusing on our failures rather than our successes, we will find that this is the way we perceive ourselves. But everyone, no matter who they are, have been successful in different areas of their lives, so focus on those moments instead.
Is your glass half full?
If you have low self-esteem, focusing on times you were confident or times that you achieved something you at first didn't think you could, will help you to build up a more positive image of yourself. Positive affirmations are a good way to build self- esteem as they help to counteract negative chit chatter in your mind. The more you repeat positive affirmations whilst focusing on a successful or confident moment on your life, the more it will start to grow roots in your subconscious mind, resulting in positive internal chit chatter.
Another way to boost your self-esteem is by stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things you have never done before. At first these things may seem a little frightening, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you will start to feel in unfamiliar circumstances and the more confident you will become. If you are a very nervous person, then just start with small things, such as saying good morning to a stranger, or paying someone a small compliment. The more we step out of our comfort zones, we start to realise that most of the things we worry about are not worth worrying about at all and the less fear you have, the more confident you will feel.
Remember that there is nothing to be afraid of "out there". The fear we experience comes from within. There is nothing to fear except fear itself.